At the stroke of midnight, the moment when we
finally break into the year 2000, your toaster will explode, elevators will
stall in mid-air and electronic prison gates will swing open.

To top it off, your dog (if he has one of those ID chips in him) will start
liking cats, you'll receive a bill for 99 years of long distance calls to your
parents and your computer will refuse to open all your files.

Or maybe not. Experts are disagreeing about possible mayhem on the eve of the
millennium, the day when computers at every level may succumb to the dearth
known as the Y2K problem - the Year 2000 Bug.

But to be scared of it, first you have to know what it is. Basically, it is
the inability of some computers to properly read the two-digit year in
computer programs. In other words, as we pass into Jan. 1, 2000, some
computers will interpret the 00 to mean 1900 — not 2000 — causing some
computers to abruptly sputter and halt.

This problem dates back to the old days of computer programming - the days
when they had those gigantic machines that filled up rooms and every bit of
memory counted. Back then, in order to save some extra space, programmers
decided to shorten dates to just the last two digits. And nobody paid
attention to this potentially huge shortcut until recently.

Is this a reason to be alarmed? Probably not. Though the Y2K Problem could
have a nasty impact on industries including airlines, brokerage firms, and
utilities, it's more likely that the army of computer geeks around the world
will save everything (that's really necessary to save), by sharing their
repair secrets for a premium.

Most likely, only older electronics with computer chip-controlled calendar
features, including VCRs and camcorders, will be ultimately affected by the
bug. At the hardware level, PC users will need to upgrade or fix the hardwired
information that runs the most basic functions of the computer, called the
BIOS, or Basic Input/Output System.

Aside from controlling the time and date information, the BIOS also helps
computers recognize each key part of its system, such as the hard disc,
keyboard and CD-ROM drive.

But then again, don't get too comfortable just yet. Just a few weeks ago
(January 6, 1999), the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) officials
publicly urged the emergency management, fire and emergency services
communities and the public to get ready for Y2K.

It seems that in a recent FEMA survey of state emergency management directors
concerning Y2K issues at the state and local levels, the directors reported
that although Y2K fixes are underway in state-level emergency preparedness
offices, the emergency service systems of many counties and municipalities
remain untested. Let's hope you don't need 911 for the first couple of days
into next year.

And of course, some wack job radio hosts would have you believe that President
Clinton will take advantage of the mayhem of Y2K to declare martial law and
entrench himself as the Dictator of the United States. Art Bell, heard locally
on WABC AM 770, has long been feeding his loony listeners with various Y2K
scare scenarios.

These diatribes generally have anarchy breaking out and Bell urges his minions
to be prepared. Cue the commercial, "This portion of the Art Bell Show is
sponsored by Perma Pack - the number one source for Y2K emergency food
supplies."

But while the radio scares are pretty much cinema, along the lines of the
Martian invasion from Orson Welles' rendition of War of the Worlds, there are
some opportunists hard at work to capitalize on the Year 2000 Bug.

There are all sorts of investment scams cropping up, just in time to exploit
fears of the possible computer problems. One of the basic scams goes like
this...the helpful Y2K firm persuades people to take their money out of banks
to avoid computer glitches, then turn it over to be invested with them. The
only problem is that paranoia doesn't pay interest.

There's another scam where promoters are sending unsolicited e-mail messages
selling investment opportunities in companies or products that are touted as
being able to fix the Year 2000 problem.

In response to this onslaught of scammers, the nation's bankers recently told
Americans not to panic over the Year 2000 date change, promising that ATM
machines, credit cards, checks and banking services will be functioning
normally. They also warned that withdrawing massive amounts of cash could make
consumers vulnerable to being robbed.

"No one knows how big of a deal the Y2K bug will be. But panic can lead people
to make stupid mistakes -- something that con artists know well," said NASAA
President Peter Hildreth, who also is New Hampshire's director of securities
regulation.

So, do I think the world is going to be turned upside down on New Year's Eve
this year? Not really. I'm not going to build a fallout shelter in my backyard
and I'm not going to buy a shotgun. But will I have enough food, water and
batteries for the first week of 2000? You bet your ass! And do you think I'm
flying anywhere as the clock strikes midnight? Fuhghedaboutit!
 
 

The sending of any unsolicited email advertising messages to this domain will result in the imposition of civil liability against you in accordance with Cal. Bus. & Prof. Code Section 17538.45.